I can not believe 7 years have passed since that day and I am so proud of the amazing little girl my Lailah has become!
Huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my little girl who is blossoming into a young lady right before my eyes.
She's literally the most amazing human being I've met so far. She's so intelligent, compassionate, insightful, thoughtful, entertaining, funny, and well you get the picture tongue emoticon. I am so blessed and lucky to be her mommy. I couldn't imagine life without her.
Dear Lailah,
You have turned 7. It is insane to me that you are 7 already. I remember carrying you inside of me and feeling those tiny kicks and hiccups of yours. I remember going to my appointment where I found out that I was expecting you and my life being completely changed forever - for the better. I remember going in and my doctor asking, "Do you know what I'm going to say?" And although I had a slight idea I still had no idea at the same time. Finding out I was expecting you was the most exciting and scariest time of my entire life. And now 7 years have gone by and I am so proud to be your mommy. You are the most incredible human being I've ever known yet. You are so insightful and caring and you truly teach me everyday the human I want to be myself, simply by being you. I know that I'm supposed to teach you and guide you - and trust me I am doing the absolute best that I know how. But YOU also teach ME. I guess we are growing and learning together and I love that more than anything.
I'm going to tell you about your huge and complicated personality lol. You are so many things rolled up into one. You are a little girl with a huge heart - very insightful and inquisitive and you love learning about new things, concepts, and ideas. You are also sort of shy around new people or people that you aren't around too often. You like to stand back and watch new (or not often around) people and new (or not often at) places. You like to get a larger picture of everything before jumping in and joining any fun. You are also so silly and entertaining. You love to make silly jokes or do funny things - like put things on your head or make silly faces with your mouth. You love to make the people you love laugh. You also have the kindest heart and you aim to please everyone you love so you can make them happy. You're sensitive and you aim for fairness and justness and you don't like seeing things that are unfair or unjust because it makes you feel sad and it hurts you. But you also encourage love and empathy as you step in to defend classmates or you bring situations to my attention so they could be worked through emotionally with you or dealt with. You are an amazing human being.
You are currently in the 1st grade. Your teacher is Miss Jaspers. You are good friends with a little girl in school named Isabella. You are catching onto reading really well and I am so incredibly proud of you and your will to learn even though it's difficult for you. You exceed in math and you love it. You definitely have your own preferences in things - you hate wearing jeans, you like to choose your own clothing style, and you like to mix strange foods together lol. Like syrup on your homefries and eggs and peanut butter on your corned beef. :P You've already found out shortly before turning 7 that Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Toothfairy - etc; are all made up stories - you accepted that rather well and now you just help pick things out that you would like for your basket or under the tree lol. You have also completed 3 crochet projects nearly all on your own! You've completed a hat for your friend Reagan, a scarf for your teacher, and a pair of gloves for yourself! I posted pictures of your gloves on a few crochet groups and you have received over 7 THOUSAND likes !!!! And thousands of comments as well telling you how amazing and dedicated you are.
You have your bouts of big difficult emotions as all children do, but you handle them extraordinarily well for your age. Oh and you are a FANTASTIC big sister and I just love how open you have been to not only accepting your brother into our family and your life but how amazingly well you interact with him and teach him new things. You are such a beautiful human inside and out.
At this point in time I'm learning that it is perfectly acceptable and healthy for children to have emotions - growing up, I wasn't allowed to have emotions. I was often harmed - spanked or verbally/emotionally assaulted if I even attempted to show emotions. And it wasn't a pleasant experience. So now I am doing my very very very best to change the way I was brought up, change my old belief system, and work on my own triggers from my past so that I can be the very best mom I could ever be for you (and now your brother as well). I want to teach you that emotions are acceptable, healthy, and okay as long as you can display them in appropriate non threatening manners. So, I've been doing the best I ever could to sit with you and give you a safe environment with me to release those emotions so that you can clear them up and move forward with your days healthier. I am so proud to say that I have been doing my best and that I can see the benefits paying off in you. I am so proud of who you are as a person and I'm more than happy and proud that you're my daughter. I know that I will always love and accept you as a person and an individual and I just hope that you always allow me in and never push me out. I'm here for you, I will always be here for you. You're stuck with me little one. <3
I love you baby. I love you SO incredibly much. <3
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