I miss you

Dear Lailah,
I miss you. You are right here, around me everyday but you're often off in your own world. You rarely come to me for cuddles, for hugs, for kisses, or comfort anymore. I miss you. I miss picking you up as you wrap your legs around my waist and lay your head on my shoulder, arms around my neck. I know that things have been different since getting pregnant and having your baby brother. Justin's filled some roles that I had previously. He helps with cooking and getting food for us. I help you with your homework - although, you hate it.
I don't know what I can do to keep our bond and for you to feel safe and comforted by me. I often want to do things with you so that maybe you'll love me more or something - like take you to the park or the zoo.. but even then you're in our own world and it doesn't help bring us any closer. Unfortunately when I try to do these nice things for you you just expect me to give you more. If I take you to the zoo you get upset if I don't get you lemonade or ice cream. If I take you to the arcade you get upset that I don't buy you something from the mall while we're there.
Maybe I should crawl into bed with you at night and snuggle until you fall asleep but idk.
Growing up - your Mamee was never too close to me and I hated it. I missed her even though she was right there and now I feel like I'm turning into her and you into me and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop it. I want to be more than just money or the person who takes you places. I want to be your mom, your comfort, your love, and I want to be more involved.
I have a lot of searching to do to figure this out - but I will do it, I will search inside of myself and all over if I need to so that I can be the best mom I can be for you.
I love you my little Lailah - you're growing up too fast, and I miss you.<3
Love, Mommy.