Dear Lailah,
Last night you finally lost your second tooth! You called your Mamee, your Memere, Papa, and your daddy just to tell them all you lost your second tooth lol. Then you put it under your pillow and went to sleep.
This morning you woke up and there was no money under your pillow. I forgot to put the money under. >.< So - when you were in the kitchen telling Jusitn the toothfairy didn't come, I ran over to your bed and put a couple bucks between your mattress and your wall then scooted my butt back into my bed. You then came back in the room and were surprised to see the money there lol, you thought you just didn't notice that it fell between the bed and wall. :p
So then you got ready and left for school. Which - btw, you are doing so excellent in. You are learning how to read really well, you are really great at math, and you are such a well behaved and good student for your teacher. I am really proud of you!
So when you got home from school you asked Justin to take you for a walk down the street to the dollar store so you could spend you money. Fast forwards a half hour and you returned home with two stuffed animals for your baby brother. <3 Awhhh, you spent your toothfairy money on your brother. <3
You are the most selfless, amazing, kind, and thoughtful person I have honestly ever known. I can't believe that you are my daughter and I am so thankful every day that you are. You make every day of my life worth living - along with your brother.
I love you Lailah <3 Love Mommy
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Saturday, September 20, 2014
You've crocheted your very first hat!
You have just finished crocheting your very first hat project ! I am so extremely proud of you and I don't even think you really understand. You are SUCH a beautiful and amazing little human and you make me feel so happy that I have you in my life. You're so beautiful in so many ways. You have so much patience, determination, and passion that no other 6 years olds typically have. You are so insightful and compassionate which most ADULTS even lack. I absolutely adore the person you are growing into. You're only six years old but you are the most incredible person I know at this time. You make my heart shine.
I'm so proud of you Lailah and I love you more than words can describe.
Love, Mommy.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
1st grade :) and some other things
Dear Lailah,,
You have started 1st grade. :) You really love school and you're doing so well! You are learning so much so quickly and I am so extremely proud of you. I've been teaching your brother sign language and you've caught on to quite a few signs yourself. :) So, you're learning bits of a second language ! You do so well in math and you're really coming alone with reading and recognizing words and how to spell them!
Your second tooth is still loose and has yet to fall out yet lol.
Your dad has moved back home - as of a couple weeks ago. You spent the week with him while I was in the hospital getting my appendix taken out and healing from the surgery. You said that you enjoyed spending that time with him. That makes me happy. I'm happy for you that he's here for you now and I hope that you both can establish a happy and healthy parent-child relationship with one another. I want that for you because I want what is best for you.
It does make me a little sad, I will admit. You've been my baby. I've taken care of you, loved you, cared for you when you were sick or hurt, kissed all your boo boos, and I've been your mommy. I know your dad was working and all but at the end of the day he wasn't the one taking care of you or helping me with you. So I guess it kind of makes me sad that I should "share" you now. I'm not really used to it. But I'm also happy for you and thankful that this is the way things are playing out for your life because you deserve your dad and your mom, you deserve us both, even though we aren't together.
<3 Keep growing my little one. I can't wait to see the absolutely amazing person you are as an adult.
You have started 1st grade. :) You really love school and you're doing so well! You are learning so much so quickly and I am so extremely proud of you. I've been teaching your brother sign language and you've caught on to quite a few signs yourself. :) So, you're learning bits of a second language ! You do so well in math and you're really coming alone with reading and recognizing words and how to spell them!
Your second tooth is still loose and has yet to fall out yet lol.
Your dad has moved back home - as of a couple weeks ago. You spent the week with him while I was in the hospital getting my appendix taken out and healing from the surgery. You said that you enjoyed spending that time with him. That makes me happy. I'm happy for you that he's here for you now and I hope that you both can establish a happy and healthy parent-child relationship with one another. I want that for you because I want what is best for you.
It does make me a little sad, I will admit. You've been my baby. I've taken care of you, loved you, cared for you when you were sick or hurt, kissed all your boo boos, and I've been your mommy. I know your dad was working and all but at the end of the day he wasn't the one taking care of you or helping me with you. So I guess it kind of makes me sad that I should "share" you now. I'm not really used to it. But I'm also happy for you and thankful that this is the way things are playing out for your life because you deserve your dad and your mom, you deserve us both, even though we aren't together.
<3 Keep growing my little one. I can't wait to see the absolutely amazing person you are as an adult.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Tooth Fairy
Dear Lailah,
You have finally lost your tooth, the bottom of your left right in front!! You lost your first tooth on July 8th, 2014. :) At age 6.5. :D You were so so crazy excited !!! You were running around the house shouting, "I Just lost my tooth! Eeeekkkk!! I just lost my tooth!!" You called your Memere and Papa, Mamee, and even your daddy. You showed Papa Doug and Sherry. Then when the excitement was coming down you sat and started bawling your eyes out, crying, saying, "I can't - I can't believe it fell out." LOL, So bittersweet. I think it really hit you that you're growing up! You are excited but it can be overwhelming. <3
You are just so sweet. :) ow your right bottom tooth, right next to your growing in grown up tooth, is loose!! :)
You also got upset because Sherry dropped and lost you tooth but Papa Doug found it the next morning.
The Tooth Fairy (me lol) left 2 dollars under your pillow for your tooth. :)
You have finally lost your tooth, the bottom of your left right in front!! You lost your first tooth on July 8th, 2014. :) At age 6.5. :D You were so so crazy excited !!! You were running around the house shouting, "I Just lost my tooth! Eeeekkkk!! I just lost my tooth!!" You called your Memere and Papa, Mamee, and even your daddy. You showed Papa Doug and Sherry. Then when the excitement was coming down you sat and started bawling your eyes out, crying, saying, "I can't - I can't believe it fell out." LOL, So bittersweet. I think it really hit you that you're growing up! You are excited but it can be overwhelming. <3
You are just so sweet. :) ow your right bottom tooth, right next to your growing in grown up tooth, is loose!! :)
You also got upset because Sherry dropped and lost you tooth but Papa Doug found it the next morning.
The Tooth Fairy (me lol) left 2 dollars under your pillow for your tooth. :)
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Finished Kindergarten!! *add pics*
Dear Lailah,
You finished kindergarten today !! I'm so proud of you. :) You're such an intelligent little girl!! You've done really well this year. I know that you will continue doing your best each year. :)
I'm going to ask you some questions and record your answers:
Me: What did you think about kindergarten when you first started?
You: Uhm, I felt happy.
Me: When you first started?
You: Yeah, because I liked being the teacher.
Me: But how about your very first day at school?
You: Exciting! I felt excited!
Me: Did you enjoy school?
You: Yes !
Me: What was your favorite part of kindergarten?
You: That's easy! Picking teachers!
Me: Did you make any friends?
You: Yes!
Me: How many friends did you make?
You: Hold on, I'm thinking. *counts on fingers* TEN! Ten friends.
Me: What were your struggles in school?
You: My struggles in school? Nothing! I didn't struggle with anything.
Me: Did you like your teacher?
You: Yes! And I want to have that teacher again, every year in that school.
Me: What did you learn?
You: I learned reading, writing, centers, and math. Recess, lunch, snack, and the first we did dinosaur week and then we did some numbers and then we did some numbers again. And then we did who's wearing red. And then we did who is wearing brown. And then we did who is wearing green. And then we did the alphabet. And then we did I know one plus one is two, tie your shoe. Two plus two is four, shut the door. Three plus three is six, pick up sticks. And then we did, I know four plus four is eight, shut the gate. And I did, I know ten plus then is 20, sing it again! After that we did the calendar. Then we did counting up to 100. Then we did A apple Ah, B ballons buh, C cat cuh, D dog duh....... then we lined up and then we went to recess. And we lined up to go to lunch. And we lined up to get a drink. And then we lined up again to go back to our classroom. And then we watched a movie today, the Magic School bus we watched. Then we watched Magic School bus again. And then we watched a movie again. Then we got our folders and then we went home! And then at 2:00 I get out of school at 2:00 and I went into school at 8:00. And that's it!
Me: What were your dislikes about school?
You: I did not like Music.
Me: Is that it?
You: Yeah, that's it!
Me: Do you think homework helped you learn?
You: Yes!
Me: What did you feel about library?
You: Happy!
Me: Do you like reading?
You: Uhm, yes! Wait.... NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I do not like reading!
Me: Why not?
You: I just don't!
Me: Do you like math?
You: Yes.
Me: Did you like learning about butterflies?
You: Yes.
Well, lol. I guess that is that.
Oh and I crocheted your teacher an afghan, she really loved it!
Your tooth has yet to fall out but you really really want it to lol.
You've finished softball. And you hit the ball for the very first time when practicing having it pitched. Then you hit it many times after that :)
You finished kindergarten today !! I'm so proud of you. :) You're such an intelligent little girl!! You've done really well this year. I know that you will continue doing your best each year. :)
I'm going to ask you some questions and record your answers:
Me: What did you think about kindergarten when you first started?
You: Uhm, I felt happy.
Me: When you first started?
You: Yeah, because I liked being the teacher.
Me: But how about your very first day at school?
You: Exciting! I felt excited!
Me: Did you enjoy school?
You: Yes !
Me: What was your favorite part of kindergarten?
You: That's easy! Picking teachers!
Me: Did you make any friends?
You: Yes!
Me: How many friends did you make?
You: Hold on, I'm thinking. *counts on fingers* TEN! Ten friends.
Me: What were your struggles in school?
You: My struggles in school? Nothing! I didn't struggle with anything.
Me: Did you like your teacher?
You: Yes! And I want to have that teacher again, every year in that school.
Me: What did you learn?
You: I learned reading, writing, centers, and math. Recess, lunch, snack, and the first we did dinosaur week and then we did some numbers and then we did some numbers again. And then we did who's wearing red. And then we did who is wearing brown. And then we did who is wearing green. And then we did the alphabet. And then we did I know one plus one is two, tie your shoe. Two plus two is four, shut the door. Three plus three is six, pick up sticks. And then we did, I know four plus four is eight, shut the gate. And I did, I know ten plus then is 20, sing it again! After that we did the calendar. Then we did counting up to 100. Then we did A apple Ah, B ballons buh, C cat cuh, D dog duh....... then we lined up and then we went to recess. And we lined up to go to lunch. And we lined up to get a drink. And then we lined up again to go back to our classroom. And then we watched a movie today, the Magic School bus we watched. Then we watched Magic School bus again. And then we watched a movie again. Then we got our folders and then we went home! And then at 2:00 I get out of school at 2:00 and I went into school at 8:00. And that's it!
Me: What were your dislikes about school?
You: I did not like Music.
Me: Is that it?
You: Yeah, that's it!
Me: Do you think homework helped you learn?
You: Yes!
Me: What did you feel about library?
You: Happy!
Me: Do you like reading?
You: Uhm, yes! Wait.... NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I do not like reading!
Me: Why not?
You: I just don't!
Me: Do you like math?
You: Yes.
Me: Did you like learning about butterflies?
You: Yes.
Well, lol. I guess that is that.
Oh and I crocheted your teacher an afghan, she really loved it!
Your tooth has yet to fall out but you really really want it to lol.
You've finished softball. And you hit the ball for the very first time when practicing having it pitched. Then you hit it many times after that :)
Saturday, May 24, 2014
You're amazing.
Dear Lailah,
The end of your Kindergarten year is creeping up on us! I can't believe you're going to be heading into 1st grade! I feel like I just had you not too long ago and here you are this tiny, beautiful, intelligent, amazing little human.
You just had your first field trip! I chaperoned and brought your brother with me. You got to ride on the bus and you really liked that. :) We went to the New Dawn Earth center or something like that haha, it was this nature walk thing. There was a pond and hills and woods. You were able to use a net down by the pond and try to catch some animals that live in the water. You actually ended up catching a freshly born dragonfly who had just left the water! She dried her wings and flew away! I bet you really helped give her a great start in life by protecting her from other animals and the other children as you set her down with the net away from everyone else. :) You had so much fun. I really got to glimpse into your school year for a day and see how much you love playing with your friends.
You're certainly a little leader. lol. At one point you led everybody up the hill and you started organizing a group run down haha. You wanted everyone to run down the hill all at once when you said to. But it didn't work out as planned hahaha! But you kept calm and eventually got a few of your best buddies to run down with you after you shouted go! :)
You also have your VERY FIRST loose tooth! The bottom left (your left) one! It will be falling out soon! You are so excited about losing it! I'm excited too. <3
I want to add that you are the very best and sweetest sissy ever! You love Noel so much. You get so concerned about him when he cries or if he gets hurt. You even sometimes cry more than he does when he gets hurt or if he seems as if he's not okay. <3 You are so amazing Lailah.
One day you are going to grow up to be the very best version of yourself. Beautiful, intelligent, smart, educated, and just the very best person that anyone could ever have the pleasure of meeting. And how do I know this? Why do I believe this? Because this is already who you are. At your core and in your purest spirit form you are the gentlest and most kind hearted and loving person I have ever known. <3 I am proud to be your mommy.
The end of your Kindergarten year is creeping up on us! I can't believe you're going to be heading into 1st grade! I feel like I just had you not too long ago and here you are this tiny, beautiful, intelligent, amazing little human.
You just had your first field trip! I chaperoned and brought your brother with me. You got to ride on the bus and you really liked that. :) We went to the New Dawn Earth center or something like that haha, it was this nature walk thing. There was a pond and hills and woods. You were able to use a net down by the pond and try to catch some animals that live in the water. You actually ended up catching a freshly born dragonfly who had just left the water! She dried her wings and flew away! I bet you really helped give her a great start in life by protecting her from other animals and the other children as you set her down with the net away from everyone else. :) You had so much fun. I really got to glimpse into your school year for a day and see how much you love playing with your friends.
You're certainly a little leader. lol. At one point you led everybody up the hill and you started organizing a group run down haha. You wanted everyone to run down the hill all at once when you said to. But it didn't work out as planned hahaha! But you kept calm and eventually got a few of your best buddies to run down with you after you shouted go! :)
You also have your VERY FIRST loose tooth! The bottom left (your left) one! It will be falling out soon! You are so excited about losing it! I'm excited too. <3
I want to add that you are the very best and sweetest sissy ever! You love Noel so much. You get so concerned about him when he cries or if he gets hurt. You even sometimes cry more than he does when he gets hurt or if he seems as if he's not okay. <3 You are so amazing Lailah.
One day you are going to grow up to be the very best version of yourself. Beautiful, intelligent, smart, educated, and just the very best person that anyone could ever have the pleasure of meeting. And how do I know this? Why do I believe this? Because this is already who you are. At your core and in your purest spirit form you are the gentlest and most kind hearted and loving person I have ever known. <3 I am proud to be your mommy.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Mothers day, I thank you.
Dear Lailah,
Tomorrow is Mothers day and I have you to thank for me being allowed to celebrate. You have made me so much more than just a mother though. You have helped me become an adult, mature, more loving and kind, you've made me become everything I am today - this woman who doesn't give up no matter how badly she wants to. You give me strength.
You're an amazing child. You frustrate me and sometimes drive me to my wits end but you're an amazing child. I sometimes lack the patience I should have and I am working on it so I could be a better mother to you and Noel.
You have your first loose tooth ! It's not super wiggly yet but it's getting there ! It's so exciting. Although, I can't believe my baby is really growing up on me! I wish I could just keep you little together so that you can lay on my lap talking to me about school and silly things as I stroke your hair and listen to your stories. Can't we just keep doing that forever? Please?
I guess not huh? LOL, You're going to keep growing up whether I like it or not. I hope to be the best mom I can be for you so that we will always have a strong relationship. I want you to know that I love you so tremendously much and that I will be here for you through everything there is in your life. Through all of your ups and downs, seek me and I will be there for you. I love you, more than you'll ever know - or at least until you have a tiny little life of your own in your grown arms one day. Then maybe then you'll know my love for you, maybe. :)
Tomorrow is Mothers day and I have you to thank for me being allowed to celebrate. You have made me so much more than just a mother though. You have helped me become an adult, mature, more loving and kind, you've made me become everything I am today - this woman who doesn't give up no matter how badly she wants to. You give me strength.
You're an amazing child. You frustrate me and sometimes drive me to my wits end but you're an amazing child. I sometimes lack the patience I should have and I am working on it so I could be a better mother to you and Noel.
You have your first loose tooth ! It's not super wiggly yet but it's getting there ! It's so exciting. Although, I can't believe my baby is really growing up on me! I wish I could just keep you little together so that you can lay on my lap talking to me about school and silly things as I stroke your hair and listen to your stories. Can't we just keep doing that forever? Please?
I guess not huh? LOL, You're going to keep growing up whether I like it or not. I hope to be the best mom I can be for you so that we will always have a strong relationship. I want you to know that I love you so tremendously much and that I will be here for you through everything there is in your life. Through all of your ups and downs, seek me and I will be there for you. I love you, more than you'll ever know - or at least until you have a tiny little life of your own in your grown arms one day. Then maybe then you'll know my love for you, maybe. :)
Sunday, March 30, 2014
I love you my beautiful girl !
Dear Lailah,
I love you. Goodness, I love you. I don't think you know how much I do, but I love you more than almost anything in the world. You have been my light and my life for so long. Lately, I fear that you feel as if I care more for your brother than you and that isn't is. Even if it may feel that way. Your brother is still just a baby and like you when you were a baby - he needs attention and care. He needs his cries and fusses answered so he can grow up and be just as amazing as his big sister!
This summer I promise I will try my best to spend a lot of time with you! The beach, the park, the zoo. All of your favorite things to do. <3 Oh and Icecream! Ice cream trips!! <3
Your report card came home this week and I am SO proud of you!! You have done so well and I couldn't be a prouder mommy ! You are so bright and smart and just wonderful. You said to me, "I try really hard to do really well in school and stay in green." :) <3
I love you. Goodness, I love you. I don't think you know how much I do, but I love you more than almost anything in the world. You have been my light and my life for so long. Lately, I fear that you feel as if I care more for your brother than you and that isn't is. Even if it may feel that way. Your brother is still just a baby and like you when you were a baby - he needs attention and care. He needs his cries and fusses answered so he can grow up and be just as amazing as his big sister!
This summer I promise I will try my best to spend a lot of time with you! The beach, the park, the zoo. All of your favorite things to do. <3 Oh and Icecream! Ice cream trips!! <3
Your report card came home this week and I am SO proud of you!! You have done so well and I couldn't be a prouder mommy ! You are so bright and smart and just wonderful. You said to me, "I try really hard to do really well in school and stay in green." :) <3
 |
| This shows what the number gradings mean. 4 is Exceeding Grade level. 3 is Meeting Grade level. 2 is Working towards grade level. and 1 is Working Below grade level. |
Look at all those 4s and 3s !! You are working Above Grade level in all of your math! <3
And look at all those E's which stand for Excellant !! <3
1st Trimester, "Lailah is fun to have in class. She enjoys participating and is eager to learn."
2nd Trimester, "Lailah is making nice improvements. She is bright and excited about learning."
I love you my beautiful girl. <3
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
You are SIX!! Happy birthday baby girl!
Dear Lailah, you turned SIX yesterday !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!I can not believe that I've had you in my life for 6 years now. You're my little angel. You've come to this Earth through me. My body created you and by you entering my life - you saved me. You have made me not only a (hopefully) good mother - but a better person. Everyday I strive to be the best person and mother I can be for you. I strive to make you a better person than me one day and to help you succeed beyond what I have. I aim to be here for you at all times and be your support when you feel you have none. I want to be to you everything I didn't have in my life. I want you to know and understand that I love you with absolutely everything I am. You are an incredible little girl. Your smile can brighten anyones day. Your personality can create fun for anyone around - you are so spunky, creative, and active. You are such a little leader - although sometimes you can be a bit bossy. :p You are funny and silly - you can always bring a smile to my face and make me laugh. You are so smart and bright! I am impressed with you everyday how well you do in not only school but in dealing with and observing life around you. How well you cope with others and situations in life - inspires me. You are compassionate and caring and you teach me who I want to be just by being your loving little self. You care so much about others. You are so kind. You often will just randomly think about me and bring me a water or a snack - simply because you believe I'll enjoy it. And I always do! You're so thoughtful and helpful and just - perfect. I love you to pieces and I hope we can always be as close as we are now. <3 You mean the world to me. Having you was the biggest decision of my life and I would never change it for anything. I've struggled - we've struggled and I'm sorry. But one day I will prove to you that I can give us a happy life - I hope. <3 Thank you, for choosing me as your mommy and thank you for being you.
For your birthday I got you the outfit above and those shoes. :) You really seemed to love them! Your birthday party is this weekend. I'll write back and tell how it goes so that one day you can look back and see your life from my perspective.
Love, Mommy.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Just about your reading progress.
I ask Lailah to please hurry up with something.
Lailah: okay, can you wait a minute? Be patient?! I'm sorry but I don't have thirteen hands!!
Jan 9th: Just spent an hour doing Lailah's reading words with her. At the end of the hour she had read every word on the paper by herself. We worked on her sounding out each letter then putting them together quicker and quicker until she figured out the word.Proud of her!
Jan 14th:I'm so proud of my little Lailah who has learned to read small words all on her own!! She's getting really good at it too!
It is now February and you can read many small words all on your own. You can also almost right your last name. :) Although you leave out a letter or two sometimes. You are doing so well. <3
Lailah: okay, can you wait a minute? Be patient?! I'm sorry but I don't have thirteen hands!!
Jan 9th: Just spent an hour doing Lailah's reading words with her. At the end of the hour she had read every word on the paper by herself. We worked on her sounding out each letter then putting them together quicker and quicker until she figured out the word.Proud of her!
Jan 14th:I'm so proud of my little Lailah who has learned to read small words all on her own!! She's getting really good at it too!
It is now February and you can read many small words all on your own. You can also almost right your last name. :) Although you leave out a letter or two sometimes. You are doing so well. <3
Friday, January 31, 2014
Keep shining for me.
Dear Lailah,
Yesterday I went to your very first parent teacher conference. I am so extremely proud of you.Your teacher just adores you. She said you are doing so well! She said you are motivated and persistent. She said you just have the cutest little voice and you love to sing all the songs in the class very well! She thinks you're adorable. :) She also said that you're doing very good with all of the other children in the classroom and that you are now getting along with everybody! You're doing excellent in everything. On your report card you got all 3's except for only ONE 2. Which is awesome! You are so bright! I love watching you learn and grow. You're such an amazing little girl. You have persevered and you are succeeding. This past year has been difficult for you, I know. You started Kindergarten, your first teacher got arrested, your second teacher was only temporary, you got a new baby brother, and we moved from Papa Doug's house to Mammee's. It's been a lot of change for you - but through it all you keep moving forward and you continue learning and growing. I love you more than you can know right now. <3 Keep shining for me.
Love, Mommy.
Yesterday I went to your very first parent teacher conference. I am so extremely proud of you.Your teacher just adores you. She said you are doing so well! She said you are motivated and persistent. She said you just have the cutest little voice and you love to sing all the songs in the class very well! She thinks you're adorable. :) She also said that you're doing very good with all of the other children in the classroom and that you are now getting along with everybody! You're doing excellent in everything. On your report card you got all 3's except for only ONE 2. Which is awesome! You are so bright! I love watching you learn and grow. You're such an amazing little girl. You have persevered and you are succeeding. This past year has been difficult for you, I know. You started Kindergarten, your first teacher got arrested, your second teacher was only temporary, you got a new baby brother, and we moved from Papa Doug's house to Mammee's. It's been a lot of change for you - but through it all you keep moving forward and you continue learning and growing. I love you more than you can know right now. <3 Keep shining for me.
Love, Mommy.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Reading!
Dear Lailah,
Hi Princess :) It has only been a couple days since the last time I wrote you a letter but I just had to write again! You have officially learned how to read small words!! I am so extremely proud of you!! You do have some trouble concentrating but you work through it and you get your work done! You try hard and you focus while you're learning and that's the best I can ask for!!
And as for my last post - We played some Uno and hugged and kissed recently. :) The look of love on your face was priceless. We played and joked and you kicked my butt lol! I love you. <3 Now, forever, and always.
<3 love Mommy
Hi Princess :) It has only been a couple days since the last time I wrote you a letter but I just had to write again! You have officially learned how to read small words!! I am so extremely proud of you!! You do have some trouble concentrating but you work through it and you get your work done! You try hard and you focus while you're learning and that's the best I can ask for!!
And as for my last post - We played some Uno and hugged and kissed recently. :) The look of love on your face was priceless. We played and joked and you kicked my butt lol! I love you. <3 Now, forever, and always.
<3 love Mommy
Sunday, January 12, 2014
I miss you
Dear Lailah,
I miss you. You are right here, around me everyday but you're often off in your own world. You rarely come to me for cuddles, for hugs, for kisses, or comfort anymore. I miss you. I miss picking you up as you wrap your legs around my waist and lay your head on my shoulder, arms around my neck. I know that things have been different since getting pregnant and having your baby brother. Justin's filled some roles that I had previously. He helps with cooking and getting food for us. I help you with your homework - although, you hate it.
I don't know what I can do to keep our bond and for you to feel safe and comforted by me. I often want to do things with you so that maybe you'll love me more or something - like take you to the park or the zoo.. but even then you're in our own world and it doesn't help bring us any closer. Unfortunately when I try to do these nice things for you you just expect me to give you more. If I take you to the zoo you get upset if I don't get you lemonade or ice cream. If I take you to the arcade you get upset that I don't buy you something from the mall while we're there.
Maybe I should crawl into bed with you at night and snuggle until you fall asleep but idk.
Growing up - your Mamee was never too close to me and I hated it. I missed her even though she was right there and now I feel like I'm turning into her and you into me and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop it. I want to be more than just money or the person who takes you places. I want to be your mom, your comfort, your love, and I want to be more involved.
I have a lot of searching to do to figure this out - but I will do it, I will search inside of myself and all over if I need to so that I can be the best mom I can be for you.
I love you my little Lailah - you're growing up too fast, and I miss you.<3
Love, Mommy.
I miss you. You are right here, around me everyday but you're often off in your own world. You rarely come to me for cuddles, for hugs, for kisses, or comfort anymore. I miss you. I miss picking you up as you wrap your legs around my waist and lay your head on my shoulder, arms around my neck. I know that things have been different since getting pregnant and having your baby brother. Justin's filled some roles that I had previously. He helps with cooking and getting food for us. I help you with your homework - although, you hate it.
I don't know what I can do to keep our bond and for you to feel safe and comforted by me. I often want to do things with you so that maybe you'll love me more or something - like take you to the park or the zoo.. but even then you're in our own world and it doesn't help bring us any closer. Unfortunately when I try to do these nice things for you you just expect me to give you more. If I take you to the zoo you get upset if I don't get you lemonade or ice cream. If I take you to the arcade you get upset that I don't buy you something from the mall while we're there.
Maybe I should crawl into bed with you at night and snuggle until you fall asleep but idk.
Growing up - your Mamee was never too close to me and I hated it. I missed her even though she was right there and now I feel like I'm turning into her and you into me and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop it. I want to be more than just money or the person who takes you places. I want to be your mom, your comfort, your love, and I want to be more involved.
I have a lot of searching to do to figure this out - but I will do it, I will search inside of myself and all over if I need to so that I can be the best mom I can be for you.
I love you my little Lailah - you're growing up too fast, and I miss you.<3
Love, Mommy.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
So proud of you
Dear Lailah,Hi baby girl. :) You've been a big sister for 2 weeks now. You seem to love your little brother so much. You're definitely a little mother hen.You'll make an absolutely amazing mommy one day if that's what you choose to do. You love to help with Noel. During my pregnancy you swore that if he were a boy that you wouldn't help change him lol. Now, you like to help change him and clothe him. :p You ask to hold him often, even though your little arms seem to get tired quick. You also don't like when he fusses at all, not even a tiny grunt lol. But you're amazing with him.
I am so extremely proud of you for handling everything that you've been going through lately. You've been able to handle so much in such a short frame of time. Starting school, going on that long road trip to visit your dad, me being away for the birth of your little brother and being ill, the arrival of your little brother, and even making the hugeeee big girl transition of sleeping 100% in your own bed! I could not be more happy with you. You are so perfect in so many ways.
I am so happy that I now have this amazing bond with you. This bond that connects me to you in a way it has never connected me to anyone else besides your now new brother. But you helped me learn this bond. Because of you - I love in a whole new way. You taught me how to become this new, stronger, and better person. I thank you for that. I thank you for entering my life and choosing me to be your mommy back almost 6 years ago. You've helped me grow and become to adult I am today and I am so extremely thankful that I have you in my life. I can't even imagine not having you in my life. Lailah, you are such an amazing little being and one day if you so choose to - you'll understand my love and appreciation for you when you have your own little ones.
You're growing up so fast - its unbelievable. You're such a big girl now. Everyday you still help teach me new things and become a better person - just by simply being yourself. I love you Lailah. Then, now, forever, and always.
Love,
Mommy. <3
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