Dear Rosie.... :D
So Lailah - you've decided today to change your name to Rosie. You want a "school name" and a "home name". I've asked you if you dislike your name and that's why you want to change it but you've reassured me that you love your name it's "cute and pretty and everyone likes it" but that you just want a "real name" for at home and your "other name" for school. So today you spent maybe 20 mins looking up names online with me - you couldn't decide between Rosie, Ella, and Daisy. But you eventually decided on Rosie. This could be just a phase you're in but even if it's not I am respecting your decision on this. :) I am encouraging your individuality and creativity. Maybe you'll stay Rosie for a long time - maybe next week you'll want to change it back to Lailah again. Either way is good with me. :) You let me know that you were very serious about this though and really wanted to do this. So here we go. :)
I've also made a difficult decision - after talking to you about it, that you will not be having anymore sleep over visits at your dads/grandparents house anymore. For many reason - which include but are not limited to :
1. I ask your dad to have you home at a certain time. Say - I say 6:30 pm because that is when I will be home from work and I ask that if you need to be home earlier then to please bring you to mamee's house - since I wouldn't be at home before then. Yet they bring you back at 6 and then claim I wasn't home and instead of taking you to mamee's they take you home and I'm not there so instead they keep you and then when I get off work I have to call around hoping that someone answers to find you. Then when I get in contact with someone I am told I must go out of my way to go pick you up from whereever they are because they didn't care to bring you to the home of which I asked you to be dropped off at.
2. Your father and grandparents don't have good communication. It should be your fathers responsibility to respond to my texts and calls and follow through and if he can't he should alert you grandparents and then the responsibility falls on them to follow through. Like for example when I asked them to practice your spelling words with you and they didn't and you came home and didn't know any of them and we only had a day to practice them and then you struggled on your test.
3. You come home telling me about the physical punishments and the emotional/verbal abuse that they place on Ava your little cousin who at the moment is ONLY 3 years old. They have hit her in the mouth, they spank her often, they threaten her with punishments, they tell her to stop crying and don't allow her to feel emotions, they mock her, they compare you against her, they make her stand in the corner often and for lengthly periods, they make her cry, and they are just really mean to her - in your words "for no reason - for just wanting to be a normal kid!". That doesn't sit well with me at all. I do not parent you in those ways and I don't want you to ever feel that that is acceptable ways to treat anybody - nevermind a child.
4. You also tell me about how they abuse their dog Roxy. How she is so afraid of them that she's afraid to leave her cage and that she shakes all the time because she's so afraid of them. I don't feel that that is appropriate for you to be around.
5. Your dad is always working as he said "his ass off" in a text to me today - he's never really home so you're often left with your grandparents. The point of visitation is for him and you to be able to visit - spend time together. Also - he works so damn much yet he hasn't paid child support in 4 months to help care for you at all. He hasn't even bought anything that helps support you either.
I've been thinking about all of this for a long time but I'm finally putting my foot down and I'm going to do what I feel is in your best interest.
Now - just because I am not allowing anymore overnight visits does not mean that you can not visit with your dad. I told him that we can contact one another and set up visits like at the park, zoo, beach, etc. That way you both can continue a healthy relationship. I hope that this has a good influence and not a bad one. Only time will tell and if it doesn't seem to be working out then I'll find something else that will - that will be positive and healthy for you. <3
In other news
The other day you made me so proud of you. You really wanted to play with your brother but he was busy playing with something else and whenever you tried to play with him he would get mad at you and he just wanted to be left alone. You came to me about it and I encouraged you to work it out - figure it out. So after about 10 mins you problem solved. You got a ball and you offered to trade the ball to Noel for the toy he had and then you asked to play with him. Then you both played together happily. <3
I love you my little Rosie. <3
