I love you forever.

Lailah: I love you more than all the streets and streets and streets until they end. And I love you even more than all the people who get older and older and older that are still alive, all of them. And even also more than Stop and shop and the stuff inside it. And I love you more than bigger than the sky and also all the planets on Earth. 
Lol! 
Goodness you are the sweetest little human I have ever known. I can't tell you just how happy I am to have you in my life. I tell you I love you all the time but it never feels like enough. I hope that you feel how greatly and deeply that I love you. I hope that we continue having the bond and connection that we do and that it will never fade. I hope to have the sort of mommy daughter relationship where you always turn to me and I always be there for you. I hope to receive calls at all times and be there to answer all your questions or to just listen to you vent and to be there for you to help you through problems. I want to be the best mom I can ever be to you until the day I die. 
I know that I am raising an incredible little human and I can't wait to see and meet the adult that you will end up becoming. But for now - I will treasure your youth, treasure all these kisses, and hugs, and playful times. Treasure these moments like above where your heart overspills with the love you have for your mama - for me <3 
I love you precious girl, forever. <3heart emoticon  rjgek

You've turned 7!

7 years ago today at 12:55 noon I gave birth to my very first tiny baby. Born at 36 weeks, 5lbs, 5oz, and 14 inches long. I was in disbelief that my body actually created another human being. The first thing I said when I seen her was, "omg! I had a baby! This is my baby!" It was the most surreal feeling. 
I can not believe 7 years have passed since that day and I am so proud of the amazing little girl my Lailah has become! 
Huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my little girl who is blossoming into a young lady right before my eyes. 
She's literally the most amazing human being I've met so far. She's so intelligent, compassionate, insightful, thoughtful, entertaining, funny, and well you get the picture tongue emoticon. I am so blessed and lucky to be her mommy. I couldn't imagine life without her. 

Dear Lailah, 
You have turned 7. It is insane to me that you are 7 already. I remember carrying you inside of me and feeling those tiny kicks and hiccups of yours. I remember going to my appointment where I found out that I was expecting you and my life being completely changed forever - for the better. I remember going in and my doctor asking, "Do you know what I'm going to say?" And although I had a slight idea I still had no idea at the same time. Finding out I was expecting you was the most exciting and scariest time of my entire life. And now 7 years have gone by and I am so proud to be your mommy. You are the most incredible human being I've ever known yet. You are so insightful and caring and you truly teach me everyday the human I want to be myself, simply by being you. I know that I'm supposed to teach you and guide you - and trust me I am doing the absolute best that I know how. But YOU also teach ME. I guess we are growing and learning together and I love that more than anything. 

I'm going to tell you about your huge and complicated personality lol. You are so many things rolled up into one. You are a little girl with a huge heart - very insightful and inquisitive and you love learning about new things, concepts, and ideas. You are also sort of shy around new people or people that you aren't around too often. You like to stand back and watch new (or not often around) people and new (or not often at) places. You like to get a larger picture of everything before jumping in and joining any fun. You are also so silly and entertaining. You love to make silly jokes or do funny things - like put things on your head or make silly faces with your mouth. You love to make the people you love laugh. You also have the kindest heart and you aim to please everyone you love so you can make them happy. You're sensitive and you aim for fairness and justness and you don't like seeing things that are unfair or unjust because it makes you feel sad and it hurts you. But you also encourage love and empathy as you step in to defend classmates or you bring situations to my attention so they could be worked through emotionally with you or dealt with. You are an amazing human being.

You are currently in the 1st grade. Your teacher is Miss Jaspers. You are good friends with a little girl in school named Isabella. You are catching onto reading really well and I am so incredibly proud of you and your will to learn even though it's difficult for you. You exceed in math and you love it. You definitely have your own preferences in things - you hate wearing jeans, you like to choose your own clothing style, and you like to mix strange foods together lol. Like syrup on your homefries and eggs and peanut butter on your corned beef. :P You've already found out shortly before turning 7 that Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Toothfairy - etc; are all made up stories - you accepted that rather well and now you just help pick things out that you would like for your basket or under the tree lol. You have also completed 3 crochet projects nearly all on your own! You've completed a hat for your friend Reagan, a scarf for your teacher, and a pair of gloves for yourself! I posted pictures of your gloves on a few crochet groups and you have received over 7 THOUSAND likes !!!! And thousands of comments as well telling you how amazing and dedicated you are. 

You have your bouts of big difficult emotions as all children do, but you handle them extraordinarily well for your age. Oh and you are a FANTASTIC big sister and I just love how open you have been to not only accepting your brother into our family and your life but how amazingly well you interact with him and teach him new things. You are such a beautiful human inside and out. 

At this point in time I'm learning that it is perfectly acceptable and healthy for children to have emotions - growing up, I wasn't allowed to have emotions. I was often harmed - spanked or verbally/emotionally assaulted if I even attempted to show emotions. And it wasn't a pleasant experience. So now I am doing my very very very best to change the way I was brought up, change my old belief system, and work on my own triggers from my past so that I can be the very best mom I could ever be for you (and now your brother as well). I want to teach you that emotions are acceptable, healthy, and okay as long as you can display them in appropriate non threatening manners. So, I've been doing the best I ever could to sit with you and give you a safe environment with me to release those emotions so that you can clear them up and move forward with your days healthier. I am so proud to say that I have been doing my best and that I can see the benefits paying off in you. I am so proud of who you are as a person and I'm more than happy and proud that you're my daughter. I know that I will always love and accept you as a person and an individual and I just hope that you always allow me in and never push me out. I'm here for you, I will always be here for you. You're stuck with me little one. <3 
I love you baby. I love you SO incredibly much. <3 

Lost second tooth :)

Dear Lailah,
Last night you finally lost your second tooth! You called your Mamee, your Memere, Papa, and your daddy just to tell them all you lost your second tooth lol. Then you put it under your pillow and went to sleep.
This morning you woke up and there was no money under your pillow. I forgot to put the money under. >.< So - when you were in the kitchen telling Jusitn the toothfairy didn't come, I ran over to your bed and put a couple bucks between your mattress and your wall then scooted my butt back into my bed. You then came back in the room and were surprised to see the money there lol, you thought you just didn't notice that it fell between the bed and wall. :p
So then you got ready and left for school. Which - btw, you are doing so excellent in. You are learning how to read really well, you are really great at math, and you are such a well behaved and good student for your teacher. I am really proud of you!
So when you got home from school you asked Justin to take you for a walk down the street to the dollar store so you could spend you money. Fast forwards a half hour and you returned home with two stuffed animals for your baby brother. <3 Awhhh, you spent your toothfairy money on your brother. <3
You are the most selfless, amazing, kind, and thoughtful person I have honestly ever known. I can't believe that you are my daughter and I am so thankful every day that you are. You make every day of my life worth living - along with your brother.
I love you Lailah <3 Love Mommy

You've crocheted your very first hat!

Dear Lailah,
You have just finished crocheting your very first hat project ! I am so extremely proud of you and I don't even think you really understand. You are SUCH a beautiful and amazing little human and you make me feel so happy that I have you in my life. You're so beautiful in so many ways. You have so much patience, determination, and passion that no other 6 years olds typically have. You are so insightful and compassionate which most ADULTS even lack. I absolutely adore the person you are growing into. You're only six years old but you are the most incredible person I know at this time. You make my heart shine.

I am anxious to see the adult version of you. I hope we continue to have a strong mommy/daughter relationship. I get so teary eyed just thinking about you going off to college, moving out, getting married, and having babies of your own one day. I am SO happy right in this moment that you are just 6 years old because I am FAR from ready for any of that to happen any time soon. I want to keep you with me as long as I can. <3
I'm so proud of you Lailah and I love you more than words can describe.
Love, Mommy.

1st grade :) and some other things

Dear Lailah,,
You have started 1st grade. :) You really love school and you're doing so well! You are learning so much so quickly and I am so extremely proud of you. I've been teaching your brother sign language and you've caught on to quite a few signs yourself. :) So, you're learning bits of a second language ! You do so well in math and you're really coming alone with reading and recognizing words and how to spell them!
Your second tooth is still loose and has yet to fall out yet lol.
Your dad has moved back home - as of a couple weeks ago. You spent the week with him while I was in the hospital getting my appendix taken out and healing from the surgery. You said that you enjoyed spending that time with him. That makes me happy. I'm happy for you that he's here for you now and I hope that you both can establish a happy and healthy parent-child relationship with one another. I want that for you because I want what is best for you.
It does make me a little sad, I will admit. You've been my baby. I've taken care of you, loved you, cared for you when you were sick or hurt, kissed all your boo boos, and I've been your mommy. I know your dad was working and all but at the end of the day he wasn't the one taking care of you or helping me with you. So I guess it kind of makes me sad that I should "share" you now. I'm not really used to it. But I'm also happy for you and thankful that this is the way things are playing out for your life because you deserve your dad and your mom, you deserve us both, even though we aren't together.

<3 Keep growing my little one. I can't wait to see the absolutely amazing person you are as an adult.

Tooth Fairy

Dear Lailah,
You have finally lost your tooth, the bottom of your left right in front!! You lost your first tooth on July 8th, 2014. :) At age 6.5. :D You were so so crazy excited !!! You were running around the house shouting, "I Just lost my tooth! Eeeekkkk!! I just lost my tooth!!" You called your Memere and Papa, Mamee, and even your daddy. You showed Papa Doug and Sherry. Then when the excitement was coming down you sat and started bawling your eyes out, crying, saying, "I can't - I can't believe it fell out." LOL, So bittersweet. I think it really hit you that you're growing up! You are excited but it can be overwhelming. <3
You are just so sweet. :) ow your right bottom tooth, right next to your growing in grown up tooth, is loose!! :)
You also got upset because Sherry dropped and lost you tooth but Papa Doug found it the next morning.
The Tooth Fairy (me lol) left 2 dollars under your pillow for your tooth. :)

Finished Kindergarten!! *add pics*

Dear Lailah,
You finished kindergarten today !! I'm so proud of you. :) You're such an intelligent little girl!! You've done really well this year. I know that you will continue doing your best each year. :)
I'm going to ask you some questions and record your answers:

Me: What did you think about kindergarten when you first started?
You: Uhm, I felt happy.
Me: When you first started?
You: Yeah, because I liked being the teacher.
Me: But how about your very first day at school?
You: Exciting! I felt excited!
Me: Did you enjoy school?
You: Yes !
Me: What was your favorite part of kindergarten?
You: That's easy! Picking teachers!
Me: Did you make any friends?
You: Yes!
Me: How many friends did you make?
You: Hold on, I'm thinking. *counts on fingers* TEN! Ten friends.
Me: What were your struggles in school?
You: My struggles in school? Nothing! I didn't struggle with anything.
Me: Did you like your teacher?
You: Yes! And I want to have that teacher again, every year in that school.
Me: What did you learn?
You: I learned reading, writing, centers, and math. Recess, lunch, snack, and the first we did dinosaur week and then we did some numbers and then we did some numbers again. And then we did who's wearing red. And then we did who is wearing brown. And then we did who is wearing green. And then we did the alphabet. And then we did I know one plus one is two, tie your shoe. Two plus two is four, shut the door. Three plus three is six, pick up sticks. And then we did, I know four plus four is eight, shut the gate. And I did, I know ten plus then is 20, sing it again! After that we did the calendar. Then we did counting up to 100. Then we did A apple Ah, B ballons buh, C cat cuh, D dog duh....... then we lined up and then we went to recess. And we lined up to go to lunch. And we lined up to get a drink. And then we lined up again to go back to our classroom. And then we watched a movie today, the Magic School bus we watched. Then we watched Magic School bus again. And then we watched a movie again. Then we got our folders and then we went home! And then at 2:00 I get out of school at 2:00 and I went into school at 8:00.  And that's it!
Me: What were your dislikes about school?
You: I did not like Music.
Me: Is that it?
You: Yeah, that's it!
Me: Do you think homework helped you learn?
You: Yes!
Me: What did you feel about library?
You: Happy!
Me: Do you like reading?
You: Uhm, yes! Wait.... NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I do not like reading!
Me: Why not?
You: I just don't!
Me: Do you like math?
You: Yes.
Me: Did you like learning about butterflies?
You: Yes.


Well, lol. I guess that is that.
Oh and I crocheted your teacher an afghan, she really loved it!
Your tooth has yet to fall out but you really really want it to lol.
You've finished softball. And you hit the ball for the very first time when practicing having it pitched. Then you hit it many times after that :)